Friday, August 14, 2009

#5 Getting Boners at the Gym

Cuse Dudes get hard at the gym. Then they pretend like we didn't see. I saw. I saw the outline, the bulge, the sheer embarrassment of your boner. Control yourself, please. These frequent pop-ups are a mystery, but there are a few possible explanations.

Biology: We’re don’t got no M.D. edjumacation, but perhaps blood simply pumps as Cuse Dudes pump weights. And if blood’s a-pumpin, then dicks are full of excitement?

2- Archbold Gymnasium attracts girls in tight, tight clothing. Then those girls go perch on machines that emphasize the tush. Tush make man excited, rawr!

3- Cuse Dudes are actually listening to Mariah Carey on their i-Pods, while thinking about Mariah Carey’s tush.

4- You can’t walk two inches in the gym without catching your reflection in the mirror. Are Cuse Dudes getting boners for themselves? For their model-like physiques? For their brilliance? For their sweet dance moves? For their large feet? Survey says correcto.

And now we’re out like a boner in sweatpants.

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